Kimi-chan X Gaijin Samurai

1. 18
   May
   

   Look Who’s Happy Now?

   Well, I’m pretty sure it’s not me.

   I’m really sick and tired of everything going on around me. I’m tired of getting hurt over something I should’ve let go a long time ago. I’m tired of trying to move on when I keep going back to the past. I’m tired of moving forward because apparently it’s shit ahead. I’m tired of having to defend myself for not doing any better than expectations. I’m tired of being obliged to do more than I should. I’m tired of my life.

   Right now I’m so tired of all these shit. I just wanna sit back, close my eyes and wait for a stray bullet to hit my brain. Seriously. I’m damn tired. But hey, I can’t stop - there’s an empty life ahead and unfortunately I have to live it. Ugh, I’m ranting all over…

   Oh well, screw it.

   • soul searching
2. 13
   May
   

   Preferences

   It’s really pathetic, of what I’ve become. I’ve changed so much - with myself, especially my physical appearance, but still I’m so vulnerable and weak. Yesterday I had my hair cut short, and I honestly look like a guy (which is pretty cool, btw, since I really like it).

   Last Friday, while drinking with my friends I went out their house and started to think. I guess it’s time to stop hoping - like I initially wanted to do. Love is something people want, and like to talk about. At the same time it’s the most pathetic piece of shit that can happen especially when it breaks you. Anyways, it’s the thing that makes me so damn pathetic. Such shame. Anyways, I just thought I should stop liking men. They’re basically all the same. Sorry for the generalization.

   I know there’s a few good pieces from the bunch, but hey majority wins. Well, no one told me to hope for anything. And I knew from the start that it’s just a game. I said it myself. But then, just like most girls I tend to fall - so I should stop before I crush myself to pieces. When boys say that it’s just a game, it’s just a game and they mean it. Girls tend to fall if the affair goes on for a while. Well, I’ve managed to play but then several times I fell. I didn’t really fall in love though, duh… but there’s this subconscious shitty thought that somewhat makes me hold on.

   Anyways, stop hoping, get moving and change preferences. I suppose I’d be better off that way.

   • soul searching
3. 1
   May
   

   What I Want..

   I wanna take a break… a long vacation… go to the beach… go nonstop shopping… you know, those kinds of things. I wanna go far away, and come back to find something new.

   I honestly need a change in everything and relax. I wish I would be given the chance to have the life I dreamed of. It’s really simple - take photographs, go places and be with someone. Achieving that isn’t too simple though…

   Oh well, I hate reality. That’s why I live in dreams - where my real life is.

   • soul searching
4. 19
   Mar
   

   Dear You P4

   Dear You

   You’re a douche bag. You want me to stop being depressed? Are your out of your mind?? You’re the main reason why I’m depressed to begin with. You ask me what I want?? You know very well what I want, but of course I can’t have that. Obviously.

   Just stop acting like you care, it’ll be easier that way.

   Stay away from me. Leave me alone. Act as if I don’t exist.

   I’ll be better off on my own.

   • soul searching
   • dear you
   • love
   • hate
5. 18
   Mar
   

   Dear You P3

   Dear You

   You never end to make me feel like shit and make me feel confused. Stop acting like you care when now I know that you really don’t. You’re probably just doing it to save yourself the guilt of hurting me. Don’t tell me you love me, it’s just plain loads of bullshit. Reserve that for your wife that you love-hate and keep me out of it.

   I want to say so much but it’ll also make me look stupid and pathetic. I couldn’t stop myself from going near you but now I should try. We don’t need to be friends and I don’t need to hear the so-called “blessings” of your married life. It’s enough for me to bury myself down in the ground and lose all my dignity for you. I fought for you because I thought you would do the same. Obviously you didn’t - how stupid of me to actually believe that you would.

   I want you to know that you’ve hurt me the most and no, I don’t think you meant anything you told me. I fucking fought for you.

   Dear you, I fucking hate you.

   • dear you
   • soul searching
6. 15
   Mar
   

   Dear Your P2

   Dear You,

   Yes you, and no - not the first “you”. I just miss you so much, and I realized that no matter how hard I try to forget you I just couldn’t get over it. I tried to move forward, and I swear I tried to run away. I tried to forget all about you - but all I can do is sit here and wonder if you’re ever coming back. I tried to hate you, but my heart keeps rejecting such an idea.

   Maybe I’m a hopeless hopeful. More likely, I’m a hopeful idiot. It doesn’t matter, I’ll just wait.

   • soul searching
   • dear you
   • love
   • hate
7. 1
   24
   Feb
   

   Dear You…

   Hey You,

   If you could read this, I don’t even know if you’d know that this is for you. Or maybe you’d think that this is for him. I don’t even know if you’d be able to read this at all.

   It’s been a while, and I felt like I kinda miss you. It’s weird, I know. I wish I could talk to you again, and I honestly wish you are beside me right now. Anyways, maybe we’ll just never be…

   Or maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know.

   Oh well…

   • love
   • soul searching
8. 10
   Feb
   

   Castle of Glass

   ‘cause I’m only a crack in this castle of glass
   hardly anything left for you to see…

   That’s all I am, and all that I will ever be—-

   A crack in his castle of glass, a taint in life. I’m nothing more than something to forget, nothing to ever take her place, nothing of significance. I will be nothing just a memory, soon to be forgotten, soon never to be remembered. And when the thoughts of my existence ever come across his mind, it will nothing be just a picture of a blurry past…

   • soul searching
   • love
   • hurt
   • pain
9. 1
   20
   Dec
   
   

   maerskgroup:

   Christmas giveaway. #maersk #byebyediet by monalissamaye http://instagr.am/p/TdfbaZPt5f/

   Looking forward to get mine! :)

   • soul searching
   • maersk
10. 11
    Nov
    

    "I wish you here tonight with me to see the northern lights
    I wish you were here tonight with me
    I wish I could have you by my side tonight when the sky is burning
    I wish I could have you by my side"
11. 10
    Nov
    

    Oh Hello Tumblr

    Oh hello Tumblr! It’s been a while since I was last here. Mmmm my online visibility has drastically dropped. I’ve been so busy and the turn of events of my life has also increased. I’ve been through so many downs, though I’m glad there are some ups.. but my life’s recovery is still on an all-time-low… especially now.

    Anyhooz, hopefully I’d be able to post something fun!

    • soul searching
12. 25
    Aug
    

    Bopis FTW!

    Me: Ma, I like this... (Bopis, a local meal)

    Mom: Oh good..

    Me: I like those... crunchy bits

    Mom: Ah, it's trachea..

    Me: Wow! I love trachea!

    TRACHEA FTW!
13. 2
    Jun
    

    When I’m Happy, I’m On Tumblr

    When I’m mad, I’m on Livejournal.

    • soul searching
14. 2
    Jun
    

    Hi, ask ko lang po magkano rate/price nio ng ink?

    If you have an answer, then lemme know.

    • soul searching
    • tattoo
    • ink
15. 28
    Apr
    

    When I’m down, you dig a grave and bury me deeper

    Well fuck you.

    • soul searching

• Photo via japanlove
  
  Photo via japanlove
• Photo via niji-minto
  

  (by nattersaur)

  Photo via niji-minto
• Photo via fuckyeah-dyedhair
  
  Photo via fuckyeah-dyedhair
• Photoset via airanooukyuu
  
  Photoset via airanooukyuu